Beloved and Chastened The journey of a Christian Domestic Discipline wife

Beloved and Chastened The journey of a Christian Domestic Discipline wife. rodofkindness@gmail.com Monday, December 5, 2022 Un-submission Submission Today hubs and I had an...interesting situation...that seems like it should be shared. Again, this is not because we have our acts together because if anything this blog is doing, it is highlighting the difficulties and dysfunctions in our relationship. But it still seems like today's topic will at the very least open up some worthwhile discussion, and maybe even be useful as other couples compare notes and figure out their own thing together. Today I told hubs some things that I regarded to be Truth and important to share, but which he regarded to be disrespectful and un-submissive. Without getting into the details (and I apologize, because of course to figure out how right or wrong either of us was, you'd need details) but if you got wrapped up in figuring out who was right or who was wrong, you'd miss the bigger issue here. (And besides, you all have already decided I was wrong, so we can just leave it there.) Hubs decided my disrespect was worthy of a solid spanking. And yet I just couldn't agree that I had indeed been disrespectful. In fact I thought he was very wrong for even wanting to spank me and he felt I was most desperately in need of that spanking. This is difficult; as much as I WANT to come under him, I can't lie against my conscience and admit to wrongdoing when I don't believe I've done so. And don't get me wrong; it's not that I can't see ANY wrongdoing, I admitted to a half dozen wrongs on my side but the bulk, the main point, was something we couldn't see eye to eye on. To admit I am in sin when I don't believe I did wrong, seems dishonoring to myself and God, and dishonest. So as much I want to find the peaceful, easy way out, by simply submitting to his rule on the whole thing, I just couldn't get there, and honestly I felt a spanking was not only not deserved, but would be a huge wrong on his part. And on his side, he was quite frustrated and bothered by the whole thing, and determined that I ought to be disciplined. He asked me, "Am I your lord?" And I replied, "Yes, and you also have a Lord." Perhaps this sounds like disrespect, but again, in this situation it simply seemed like a necessary truth to mention. "Well, I feel I need to discipline you." I told him, "I will submit to your discipline if you want to discipline me, but I don't think I can say 'Thank you' at the end on this one." He wasn't daunted, if anything I may just have sealed my fate more. On my end, I have covenanted with him never to refuse his lash. I can't demand compliance of a conscience that doesn't agree with the rationale, but I have promised never to withhold my body. So I agreed that of course he could discipline me however he sees fit. Thus I ended up, bottoms up, on our bed, and got one of the harder spankings I have received. By the time all was said and done, it was about 60 strokes, at least 20 of them being the fast and mean ones. Spanking always does have a humbling effect; and while it didn't bring me to the point of feeling different about the whole situation, it did remind me in a deep way that I am his. So I asked for 20 more, just to express more submission in the midst of my inability to give him the full submission he wanted. And I did say, "Thank you." Because after my discipline I realized that there is value in him being firm and ready to discipline me according to his convictions and I am glad to be his even if I think there is wrong judgment in the rationale for the whole thing. It's all very sad, really -- because in this situation, discipline doesn't "put it behind us" as it ought to and it doesn't bring the release of him feeling the matter is settled and me feeling it is all taken care of now. It is unsettled, and that is difficult for both of us. But he still has control over all that belongs to him. My conscience belongs to God, but my butt belongs to my husband. There seems to be good things in that for us both, that despite our difficulties, his headship might still in some way be affirmed. So I am glad to be spanked and humbled to some degree, as we figure the rest of this out. at December 05, 2022 Email This BlogThis! Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Pinterest 1 comment: AnonymousDecember 5, 2022 at 7:32 AM Crestsa I’m have to say I’m really proud of you to endure discipline as you did. And to be honest I admire you for it. My husband told me once that sometimes there is no right and wrong in situations and that we are both right at times. This is very very hard for me to see when I’m so black and white. My husband however is a huge validation to peoples feelings and feels that if a person feels something they feel it and are not right or wrong but it is what they feel. So he says sometimes we are just both right in our feelings and at the end of the day that can be the true test in submission. It’s a true test if I will submit to discipline because I’m so strong natured that when I feel right I can become a Lawyer and fighter till the end. That truly is something he adores in me, my strong nature. Anyway I admire you!! I haven’t yet submitted myself when I felt it was not deserved and I wish I could because what it does to my husband leaves me feeling absolutely heartbroken. And my self righteousness doesn’t seem so right anymore. Reply